MY sneaky RETURN

 Hey,

 I do not think I know how to start here anymore. It has been quite a long time since I wrote from my self accustomed safe place. I would admit there is a melanchonious vibe to this whole post or should I say nostalgia. (I am not sure melanchonious is even a word, but I do hope you all understand what I am getting at)

I had no plans to write here today, absolutely no plans at all, yet here I am. 

I had just decided to turn on my laptop, and maybe write a new chapter for my book which I have been haphazardly working on lately, if I am being entirely honest. (I have kind of been feeling strange lately)

Just while I was surfing through the net, I somehow managed to find myself here.

I saw the last time I made a post was on my birthday last year. I also saw that I had made an apology post before that about how I would be more consistent here, but typing this now with Finding hope serenading the air around me talking about how he wished he was more than friends, I realize that I have failed.

So much must have happened since the last time I made a post here, but honestly that shouldn't be enough for me to halt my entire creative process.

I also realize that I miss this. I mean typing away about how I feel about the world around me without having to part my lips.

As I type I realize I actually enjoy this. Watching my fingers dancing away on the keyboard, not knowing exactly what my next sentence would be about but knowing that eventually when I am done, I will be creating yet another masterpiece. (ok maybe not a masterpiece but something worthwhile)

I guess this was the piece of my life that was missing for so long. I knew something was gone, but I just didn't know what it was.

While I was away, I  manage to finish a book. It is called "Awake at a different time" and it was sort of like an experimental program just like this blog but it turned out to be a hit. For me at least it was.

Now I am fighting to get it back and have it self published just so I can go on to write the sequel but I signed a contact that keeps me from doing anything to promote the book independently till December 2023. It is a long story really, one I do not think I am ready for today.

Luckily, I am a very patient woman so I will wait till the end of next year, I am currently writing another book so that should keep me plenty distracted from the one I can not get back.  (I am writing a number of them actually and I hope to be done with them before the year runs out)

I am not going to make empty promises like I did before that I would be consistent this time, I believe that I have proven that my words aren't really as binding as I would like them to be. 

But what I will be leaving here is this: I  have really missed this. I didn't mean to make it a dormant part of my life and I realize now that it is an important part.

Hopefully this would be enough information for my brain to keep me on the right track and i will not disappear again.

 Goodnight my ninjas, I will be keeping in touch.