The Disappearing Act

Hello my darlings👀

Click here for theme song

Once upon a time during the course of the year, i lost my way somewhere. I do not know at which point I lost it, all I know is that when I finally got ahold of myself, i was roaming through a landscape of a mental desert. A place where I had no ideas, thoughts or any form of inspiration. 

For the first time in my life, I had not just an intellectual  dry patch but also a writer’s dry spell.  I had no idea of what to write and most importantly I had no abstract thought to fuel my writing.

If you were thinking these happened for just a few days, then you have no idea what I’m talking about. It was a four months journey of just  simply existing and nothing else.

I unintentionally detached myself from the world in entirety but for what reason, I had no idea.

 I didn’t even have music to give me solace, just to tell you how serious my state of existing inertia was. It was like I watched the entire world through a safe distance, in a glass house far enough to be unbothered by all that was going on, but close enough to experience all that was in-front of me .

At those moments, I had a suffocating need to start all over, but for what exactly I wanted to start over, I had no idea.  I just knew I mentally needed a fresh start.

For anyone who knew me personally, it wouldn’t come as much of a surprise that I chose to go off the radar. Infact  this is so regular for me that people were either pissed that I had to do it so often or they were just used to the fact that I did it. 

But this time it was different,  I didn’t choose to go into hibernation,  I think hibernation chose me 🤣.  

It was a weird but also beautiful period of my life but bouyy I’m glad it’s over.

I’m back now, I do not feel any different, yet I know somethings have changed but I just don’t know what it is for now.  The uncontrollable need to start all over isn’t completely gone, but I’m currently working on starting over where it is mostly necessary, and so far, this place still remains my safe space.

I’m back to posting , and as usual, I would appreciate active participation, if not for anything, but to keep me motivated🙌🏽.

You all know the drill, I will be dropping a song to go with my post. I’m thinking something ominous enough to get across my point that I was a living mannequin for a while 🌚

I’m back to trying to create different playlists as I promised, I will let you guys know when It’s ready. 

Byeeeeeee❤️❤️ For now my darlings🐋